I was doing pretty well on my resolution to blog once a week until about mid-November. What happened? Well, first I had revisions that I needed to get done, and that took a lot of my writing energy. Then there was this little life growing inside of me that took my energy in general. My daughter, Matilda, was born on January 31st and I couldn’t be more in love.
I’m a very lucky mom. My husband has been home on paternity leave and my own mother has come to stay with us to help keep our day-to-day life running. When my son went back to daycare, I suddenly found myself with time and an urge to get back to writing. With my new babe asleep by my side, I emailed my agent a very rough draft of a work in progress. I planned how I would do research and writing exercises to prep for a full scale revision this summer. Suddenly, the stories of Stephenie Meyer “typing one-handed with a baby in her lap” did not seem like mythology. Writing with a baby was possible!
Since that day I have done approximately nothing. I find hours go by as I nurse and then hold my baby. By mid-afternoon I’m so tired I need to take a nap. Where has that initial burst of energy gone? And why do I feel such guilt? Guilt that I’m not writing. Guilt when I put the baby down. Guilt when I sleep. Guilt when I stay awake since I’m supposed to be “taking it easy.” Guilt that I am not taking advantage of my maternity leave to get some work done.
I can’t help but wonder if this is a writer-parent problem or a writer-mother problem. Do male writers feel this push and pull in the same way? Writer-fathers, please chime in.
I will try to blog with more regularity, but I do still want to get some work done on my WIP so that it can, you know, progress. And of course there is that little baby who just now has awakened, demanding more milk.